“It was, once, a white blank page, they, with their pencils of promises inscribe all their desires; And left when it became a tiresome burden. Striving to erase away all that has past, not ripped up, torn apart, or folded to make smaller; But I am marked. I am no longer the white blank page, But I am a page composed of a story, told by all the invisible impressions of that passionate lead tip.”
I wrote this anecdote years ago when trying to rummage through a symphony of broken promises, disappointed feelings, empty words and a deep hollow in my heart that I couldn’t fill. Also, a time when I was drowning myself in many bottles of wine.
That’s the thing about Valentine’s Day, if you have someone that loves you–cherish it, protect it, hold it close to you heart. But if you’re single, then try to love yourself. Don’t feel lame for buying yourself gifts, pampering yourself, dressing up and painting the town red with your friends. No one person should define you at any moment in your life. Nor do you need someone to feel completed. It’s a great feeling to be loved, treasured, and spoiled. But it’s even a greater feeling to always be in love with yourself and your life. Break down those walls and refrain from self-sabotaging good things.
Instead of falling into the same routine and being trapped in a love or relationship that is unwholesome; seek out the extraordinary. Learn to be consumed completely and utterly by only things that are magical and keep you focused. Try to live in the clouds and find the optimism in your surroundings. More importantly, learn to channel through the voices of negativity and walk away from people that are constantly pulling you down.
The worst thing I’ve done is create a whimsical, unrealistic fantasy and question my self-worth when things don’t come together. The best thing I’ve done is stretch outside my comfort zone and discover what people and things make me truly shine. So this Valentine’s don’t feel any pressure or obligations to be a certain way or follow a certain path. Do things for yourself first. I hate the self-righteous, the arrogant, and the snobbish–but it is okay to be a wee bit selfish for yourself. And hopefully, this can go past just Valentine’s Day and we carry on this “I am my own muse” attitude every single day.
That’s why I like the motto: “I Don’t Need A Valentine, I Need A Valentino.”–not because I am an avid shopaholic; because the word “need” connotes obligation or desideratum. But you don’t really need someone to express your self-worth or boost your ego. What you need is to engage with people and experiences that facilitate growth and happiness. So be your own “aura fluffer”. Yes, that is a real thing. If you need help fluffing your aura, contact me ASAP.
And as someone that likes brand names, definitely buy things that make you happy. I will always have a love affair with Valentinos, Vuittons, and Versaces. Lastly, even though chiffon is my BFF, I opted for silk lingerie (I bought solely for myself–Be a Queen Like that Ladies) and a creamy blazer because I can be a boss lady like that. I really stepped outside the bed of roses on this one. Actually not really. But I wanted to end on a chic and cheeky note.
The Flaneuse Journal 