I first started off modeling way back in February and it’s a fun job. Not a steady one, which is probably why I treat it more like a hobby or part time gig than an actual, professional venture. While I do enjoy it, people think it’s an easy job. Well it isn’t. It’s early mornings, long days, several outfit changes, no food at times (so surviving 6-8 hours on countless cups of venti black coffee and water), battling Chicago weather conditions and sacrificing a lot of time away from family and friends. But I do it because I actually love it. It’s fascinating to be in a creative space and escape reality into a landscape of fashion and style. To get dressed and put on makeup and be someone different for a day excites me.
And although I’ve learned my angles, where to find the light, to reset my eyes after each shot, the lingo of the trade, which profile is better; I’ve also learned more about myself and life through the channels of glamour and aura of glitz.
1. Fake friends vs real friends
You begin to see people for who they truly are. Some friends will be thoroughly supportive, while others will sit around, throwing around mocking and demeaning remarks. It becomes very easy to feel small and that is when you learn that not everyone has your best interest at heart. While I always like to believe that intrinsically everyone is good, the truth is that this is a very naive, sugar coated version of life. There is a difference between people that are nice and people that care. Nice people are merely that: nice. They want you during the highs or when they need a favor. The people that care stick around through all of it: the lows, the mess, the ugly days. The people that care are the real friends.
2. There is sunshine for everyone
I’ve never understood the concept of pulling others down. Granted it is a highly competitive place, but there is enough room on the runway and plenty of show light for everyone. Every person has their moment and it is a sad truth that a FEW people are so quick to steal it away. Isn’t the sun big enough to shine on everyone? I never have and never will understand the cynics, jealous folks of the world. But the truth is there are more men and women that want you to do well. The support and praise I’ve gotten from social media is ten folds greater than the negativity. Which is why, you have to know that hate is like white noise. It’s a small drop in the ocean.
3. Practice, practice, practice
Malcolm Gladwell once said that is takes 10,000 hours before you can achieve world class expertise in any skill. Modeling is the same. You need absolutely 0 skills, although being naturally photogenic and pretty doesn’t hurt. When I look back at my first head shots or test shoot, I was a clueless amaetur. Now, I’m still a struggler, but I know more now than I did 5,000 hours ago. I still forget to reset, I still miss the cue, or lose focus. But my current portraits are much improved than the first ones. Which goes to should that anyone can do anything with their life if they choose to work hard and have some discipline.
4. There is always someone better
Gisele Bundchen famously said that, “The more you trust your intuition, the more empowered you become, the stronger you become, and the happier you become.” Intuition and that “gut feeling” goes a long way because there are so many beautiful girls out there–much more so than me. They are taller, younger, skinnier, and more in demand. That really is how it works in real life too, isn’t it? You matter how much you achieve, there are people out there accomplishing much more. And it doesn’t matter because like I said there is sunshine for everyone. All you can do is stay focus, eradicate the self-doubts and keep moving forward. The other side of this coin is because there is always someone better, humility is everything. Seeking the simplicity and being humble during the great days will carry you through the worst times.
5. Limitations can lead to reinvention
When I first started out, I was asked if I would be willing to do nudity or semi-nudity. And really quickly I learned that sex sells, but that was one of my limitations. I don’t feel comfortable with that kind of exposure. I’m not afraid to be naked, but it was just one of those things I wasn’t and maybe never be ready for because of the culture I grew up in. Naturally, I felt like I was missing out on great opportunities, but then I remembered something Alexander McQueen once said: “People don’t want to see clothes, they want to see something that fuels the imagination.”
In order to be stylish or a social media influencer it’s not what you wear or don’t wear, it’s what you evoke. At that point, it got me to focus on my work and I decided I wanted to catalyze my weaknesses and limitations and ignite reinvention and imagination. The lesson here is that there is always room for improvement, but the real geniuses focus on their strengths, quickly recognize the flaws, and learn to adapt. Improvement isn’t enough, it’s the ability to evolve with change and eventually start creating change.
The Flaneuse Journal 