The Culture of Unrealistic Beauty Standards

Leonardo Da Vinci’s “The Mona Lisa” is considered one of the most beautiful women in the world due to the uniformity in her complexion and perfect symmetry of her features. While symmetry appeals of the human eye, modern studies have indicated that what people assume is symmetry is actually clever painting techniques that manipulate shading, spatial frequency, and the golden ratio. Present day beauty and fashion culture is exactly this—an ingenious tool created by the elite and wealthy few of the world that the media, publishing, beauty and fashion industry utilizes to feed off the anxieties of those that don’t meet these unrealistic standards.

The fallacy isn’t a modern marvel, but stems from centuries of class consciousness. The 1800s were known as the century of the corset, which was originally designed to create smooth lines in fabric for that freshly ironed look. Eventually, it became a means to change the body’s silhouette. More rounder and curvy figures were associated with wealthy lifestyles, specifically those who had access to the luxuries of food and fine wine. Before that, the notion was that fair and skin as white as snow was far superior and more beautiful than darker tones—it was a device that separated the proletarian classes (who spent more time working outside in the sun) from the bourgeois. It’s been a century old dilemma, where a specific theme or archetype has dominated a decade that not many can adhere to–causing social, psychological, and physical issues.

Some examples:

1. The Gibson Girl: Slender and tall, voluptuous bust and hips exaggerated through the use of a corset (causing long term side effects to the back and bone structure)
2. The Flapper: Foil to The Gibson girl with androgynous & boyish looks. The main goal was to minimize breasts and curvature of the body, which forced many to diet and exercise for the ideal thin, sporty frame and tanned skin.
3. The Marilyn Monroe: Aimed towards busty, hourglass figures and the post-war propaganda to maintain flawless skin and never leave home without applying beauty products. It was also part of the new consumerism culture emerging from the remnants of The Great Depression and WW2. Again, women were expected to gain and maintain a certain figure, most famously the “36-24-36” measurements.
4. The Twiggy: The 60s recapitulated the beauty ideals of the 20s—minimal chest, thin fame, short, boyish looks, and appearing prepubescent. Many women became obsessed with being underweight and looking “younger”. The following decades saw a dramatic emergence of diet pills and eating disorders.
5. The Supermodel or The Barbie: A majority of the 80s and 90s saw the rise of toned, unachievable body types on nearly every magazine cover with emphasis on height, slenderness, bony in appearance, and a waif chic look. This was hugely problematically because the models were way underweight and extremely unhealthy. Not to mention, deceptive on part of print media, cosmetic retailers, and fashion conglomerates.

Even today, there is a very existent culture of unhappiness and insecurity towards one’s own body and looks. Much of today’s culture focuses on contouring and highlighting so the features are symmetrical, pointy, thinner-looking, and showcasing a sharp facial bone structure. Even though, it’s a technique much like Da Vinci’s painting methods. Magazines still Photoshop—using techniques and filters to cover up natural flaws and construct this “perfect beauty”, which honestly doesn’t exist. Not to say that we haven’t made strides because there finally are women of all shapes, sizes, and shades placed on the front page of magazines and chosen as ambassadors for high end brands—a practice that has been absence for the last however many centuries. Yet, the deception is still prevalent. Beauty and style icons that undergo plastic surgery and pass it off as “natural” or “God’s gift” when it reality it’s not. The destruction of self-image and body confidence comes from chicanery.

Natural lighting photo shoot to accentuate my flaws, but also my realness. Minimal makeup with a bare and natural look.

I don’t fit the norm. My skin is patchy, my complexion is never consistent, and filled with lots of freckles and sun spots. I have hereditary dark circles for as long as I could remember. Most of my life has been spent hiding them under glasses even though I have 20/20 vision and recently trying to escape them through Bobbi Brown peach or Mac orange corrector. My lips are small and the top one is barely visible. My nose isn’t symmetric and appears fat from certain angles. I’ve considered plastic surgery (if I had to be honest), but the ramifications of looking like a plastic doll scares me. I don’t have the height of a super model so I know people judge me when I tell them I am one. Back in the day I had whale thighs and chicken legs and lanky arms. Despite the lean, thin frame there are days when I look bloated and I can’t help it. I am completely and utterly flawed. By no means am I a perfect beauty. I don’t think I fit anyone’s definition of beautiful. But I’m real. I like what I see in the mirror and I fit my definition of beautiful even though I do have insecure days. By no means am I a perfect beauty nor ever will be. I just wish more people would embrace “normal beauty” over “perfect beauty”.

What disappoints me the most is when someone tries to sell me a fabricated version of beautiful that is unattainable and a plain lie. Growing up, there weren’t any girls that looked like me in popular culture, on TV shows that I watched, or in magazines that I read; unless it was National Geographic piece on India, but even then I never saws like me. I don’t want that for the future generations and for girls to go through the phrases of insecurity like I did. And despite this new movement to embrace diversity, there is always a slight stigma when someone is different or just simply normal. It shouldn’t be taboo to look normal; it should be taboo to look unrealistic. It shouldn’t be a sin to be flawed, but condemn artificiality and fakeness. It shouldn’t cause uneasiness to be real, raw, and organic; it should trigger happiness. Beauty isn’t this socially construed tangible idea or rhetoric, it’s more than that. It’s the intangible, the eccentricities and oddities, the ordinary that is interesting, and the form you can’t see from the surface but requires you to look deeper.

Aishwarya Rai: Versatility and Life Lessons Through Style

Women of Essence: 9 Style Icons, Part 1

My fascination with her started at the wee age of 8. She caught my age when I saw her twirling so effortlessly in a light blue lehenga in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam. My god, I thought as such a young age, how immensely beautiful, graceful, and traditional she is. Over the years, I’ve come to realize the clout her style and wisdom has had on my formative years. Without equivocation, I identify with her personality and her decisions. Maybe, it’s because like her, I am a fellow scorpio and we react so in sync with our sign. But over the years, I’ve noticed that her philosophy on life , how she handles unpleasant circumstances with so much grace, and her ability to let go is not only admirable, but also examples I’ve turned to when I needed guidance. Her fashion choices underwent flak, but her legacy is forever in style. Here are her 15 best looks and messages to live by:

1.“I am particular about everything I do. I do not wish to be defined in any particular way. Versatility is the key.”

Throughout her career, there has never been one single incident or character that identifies her. Her allure is in her ability to take risks and be different. Originality and uniqueness is always appreciated and she always brought that to the table.It’s the notion that one is capable of wearing many hats and being a jack of all trades. Even if you look at her style statement, it has always been eclectic—a hint of western, dash of European, some street style and casual comfort, but never discounting the richness of Indian culture.

2. “The more you achieve in life, the more susceptible you are to the vagaries of life. But the challenge lies in not letting it all affect you. If you allow the pressures to pull you down, you won’t be able to forge ahead in life. You’ve got to take the highs and lows in your stride.”

For as long as I could remember, strong women are quickly categorized as shrewd and manipulative. And having a soft heart in a cruel world doesn’t make one weak, but brave. However, sensitive and soft people tend be quickly affected by what others say about them, especially to unwarranted, mean-spirited criticism. Her personal life made her an easy target and received unnecessary brickbats, but I’ve always noticed that priorities never shifted. When a woman sets out to build an empire and a legacy, there is no hindering her ambition, her focus, and her will. The denigration is a merely a small cost.

3.“I’m a mix of a tomboy and a woman. And I like it that way.”

Again, I’ve always admired that she’s a woman not afraid to wear different labels. Not designer labels—but social labels. As a pageant winner, there is a different aura she must always represent, but has the ability to be unapologetic about her identity and roots. It’s often hard to find one particular label that society tends to predetermine and thrust upon us. And it helps knowing that there are successful people that choose not to be defined by stereotypes.

 

4. “It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”

She has taught me that humility, generosity, and compassion for others makes you even more beautiful. The elegance and grace of a real woman lies in her heart and her desire to stay grounded. Despite all of her fame, connection, and the stature of her name, there is realness to her. She is not caged in by materialist treasures or sunken with pride.

 

5. “Elegance is innate…individual…eternal…it stands the test of time!”

Real style, the kind Tom Ford invents and Coco Chanel popularized is elegance. The key to elegance is simplicity. Basically, whatever comes from within and reflects the true nature of the self. Which is probably why despite some unfashionable sartorial choices, she is still just as relevant as she was 20 years ago. That is probably people always say that she doesn’t wear the clothes, but the clothes wear her. It is also why her name is a brand. When you hear, you know you’re about to experience elegance, grace, and unadulterated simplicity.

6. “I would say, the quality to speak volumes without really being that verbose – innate strength and silent conviction.”

The best kind of rebuttal is silence. As someone once said, “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” I’ve learned this from her at many times that it is so easy to vent out frustrations, but it takes far more strength to hold onto your dignity.

7. “When you go through a lot, it’s very easy to sink. Staying afloat can be very tough. At that point, which straws you grab at is what defines your next moment. And there are some very easy straws to help you escape life. The tough part is to stay attuned to reality.”

The strange part of life is that there are very few moments that define us. She picked the right straws at the right time. When she abused, she walked away; when they tried to ignore and humiliate her, she became even more successful and without demeaning her enemies in the process. The lows are just as significant as the highs, but you have to keep things light and not forget where you come from and who you are. The kind of person you are at your lowest and darkest expresses the realness and constancy of your character.

8.“I’ve always said that haters are a drop in the ocean. There’s that much more love. Any kind of negativity in any case just doesn’t stick, it drops off and it doesn’t matter.”

This is so relevant, especially in a society obsessed with certain beauty ideals. I remember the fashion critics tore her apart when she gained weight post-pregnancy. It was disingenuous, but hurled at her because her beauty is immensely popular. It does feel unwarranted since she has never been one to preach fitness or impose unrealistic beauty standards. Her go to mantra has always been to feel comfortable in your skin and embrace all shapes, sizes, and colors. It seems though that there will always be a few people that are extremely insecure or judgmental ready to animadvert every flaw. What these folks don’t comprehend is that every flaw adds to beauty. I’ve learned that the naysayers are far and few and unworthy of attention.

9.“Someone asked me why I’m politically correct, even when people hit out so openly at me. But the truth is, I’ve never been brought up to behave any other way. I can’t say anything hurtful about anyone. I just don’t believe in saying mean things. I won’t feel good doing that. It’s strange why being well behaved is perceived as being too “propah” and staid. This is the way I am. I’m amazed how many people feel good hitting out at me. They’re welcome to do it.”

It’s strange how society praises bluntness and honesty to that point where it crosses the boundaries of arrogance and rudeness. But we as human beings forget that every soul deserves respect. It’s petty to criticize, judge, gossip, and make someone feel small and insignificant. But in the process of being polite people like her are often called fake and pretentious. Since when did it become in style to lower another’s esteem by uninhibited frankness?

10.“I don’t believe in proving a point to anybody. Nobody is that important.”

Maybe it’s the Parisian in her or maybe she’s born with it. But I’ve always admired women that have a “frankly don’t give a damn” attitude. You don’t owe anyone anything. They are not entitled to you and they certainly are not that special that you should fret over their opinions. You should not feel your value teetered by trifling white noise.

11.“I’m not a tease. I don’t go around fluttering my eyelashes and wrapping men around my little finger.”

Being a girl next door is wholesome. Being honest and offering someone modesty and humbleness is far more admirable. She has at one point been every man’s dream because she’s unattainable pureness—however not an object by any means. Her appeal lies in her virtue and ferocity towards life and love. Teases are indulgences for a fortnight or two, but the authentic ones are for keeps.

12.“I’ve been excited, honest, earnest, enthusiastic about whatever course my life has taken, but never anxious about the results. Because when you’ve given your best, you don’t need to bother.”

When you pour all of life and soul into something, the universe has a way of rewarding you. But sometimes things do fall apart in order for even better things to fall into place. Her life may seem like a cake walk from very distant perspective. But she created her own niche without nepotism and being a complete outsider. She didn’t stress about the glass ceiling or the heart breaks, she held her head in the clouds, worked really hard, and soared all the way to the top.

13.“I’d rather be mysterious.”

Relevance pertains to those that engage in transformative processes and have an aura of mystery. Like old school Hollywood starlets, there is so much about her that people don’t know, which is one of her biggest appeals. She doesn’t share everything. It doesn’t have to do with fear or vulnerability, but it’s good to have some secrets and parts of you that only a select few are privy too. That mystery should be a privilege to confidantes and camaraderie.

14.“My biggest concern is always the students who are working toward a certain career–when they limit themselves to just that one option. They need to know that the world is huge–it’s an ocean, and there are so many options. It’s not the end of the world if they don’t get to pursue an apparent childhood dream. They feel so defeated, which is very disheartening. It’s sad to know that people let themselves be limited by these aspirations.”

Failure is exhausting. Everyone goes through it and either you let halt you or use it as a catalyst for profound reinvention. She once mentioned in an interview that she wanted to pursue medicine or zoology, but it was difficult for her. Before she was famous, she auditioned for some show and was rejected. Despite everything, there are going to come times when you fail. It’s a natural process, but you don’t let that moment anchor your sail. The sea is boundless—and life is filled with so many opportunities.

15.“The more you are blessed with experience, the fuller and the more enriched you are in your craft.”

The end all message: seize the moment. The more you live, travel, observe, and simply melt into experiences, the richer you become. You gain a sense of purpose, learn about new cultures and styles and art, and engage in conversations with different worldviews. And this changes your perspective on not only the world, but yourself. This brings it back to the beginning when I used the world versatility to describe her style. She’s a captain of many ships, someone that loves and lives in the moment, learns and expects things at face value, and doesn’t let people pigeonhole her. When you’re versatile, you take on many roles and many challenges and define yourself through many angles. And years from now when people look back at her vintage style, attitude, and look book—they’ll know she was always in vogue because she painted her legacy with colors of raw magnetism, dignity, simplicity, grace, and wisdom.  

 

Leonardo DiCaprio: The Renaissance Man

While staring at a DaVinci painting amidst a Florence museum, young Irmelin Indenbirken felt a gentle kick in her stomach and decided to name her unborn child, Leonardo. Like the the famous Italian polymath, Leonardo DiCaprio is very much this era’s “Renaissance Man”. Great thinkers of the 17th century often referred to Leonardo DaVinci with this term of endearment–one that is “unquenchable curiosity” and “feverishly inventive imagination”. It is a person that embodies expertise and profound knowledge in a plethora of spheres: intellectual, artistic, social, and physical.

Even if I set aside by 18 years of love and bias, the manner in which this man has carried his life, his career, and his relationships explicate the compassion and very humanistic perspective he upholds in all of his endeavors.

An Artist.

“Probably the only thing I knew with complete clarity was that I wanted to be an actor. But there was a lot of rejection early on, and so it never felt like, Hey, I’ve got something here. There was always an element of me that needed to prove something to myself. It’s something I don’t want to get rid of, because it’s what drives me. I’m never settled and I’m never satisfied.”

Born in Hollywood, it seems Leo was always destined for the actor’s stage. He started his career with commercials and television shows that eventually lead his breakthrough performance in “This Boy’s Life”, where he was personally chosen by Robert DeNiro out of 400 young men. Since then, he has become one of the finest and most versatile actors, who has a range that goes from Titantic to The Aviator, The Wolf of Wall Street to Revolutionary Road, Catch Me If You Can to The Departed, and Inception to The Revenant. He has the ability to adapt accents and fluctuate vocal modulations, as seen in Django Unchained. While also adding subtle nuances and vulnerability to real characters. His undying passion for cinema and thirst for artistic expression has garnered him six Academy Award nominations (1 win) and eleven Golden Globes (winning 3). In essence, there can not be such a thing as a bad Leonardo DiCaprio movie. (However, I’ve permanently eradicated The Beach from my memory.)

A Humanitarian.

“You work on these movies and you’re creating fantasy all the time. When you come back to the real world, you realize the problems that are out there and if you can give any kind of help or insight on these issues, it’s something that fulfills you, that’s all. It fulfills you, and it’s a great feeling to know you are possibly contributing some small element to helping the world be a better place.”

Growing up on the downside of advantage, he recognizes the importance to branch outside of his craft and use his fame, popularity, and money towards philanthropic efforts. His foundation has granted nearly 430,000 people in Tanzania, Mozambique, Sierre Leone and Darfur access to clean water. In addition to this, while filming for Blood Diamond, he became involved with SOS Children’s Villages–an organization that cares for children of deceased or missing parents and ensures access to education, healthcare, and psycho-social support. He has also lent his support and donations to members of the LGBT community and protecting indigenous societies.

A Feminist.

“Women have been the most persecuted people throughout all of recorded history, more than any race or religion.”

A man that has constantly considered his mother “a walking miracle” because she taught him the value of life–he understands the trials of women in all arenas and walks of life. Plus, he does not chide away from the F-word.

An Environmentalist.

“The main focus is to do something that will change the world. I couldn’t have gone to Belize and built on an island and done something like this, if it weren’t for the idea that it could be groundbreaking in the environmental movement.”

He has used his influence over the years to join scientists and politicians resolve the imminent threat to the Earth’s environment, ecosystems, and species. Joining forces with Al Gore and the Wildlife Conservation Society to educate the ignorant and mobilize the enthusiasts. Only last year, Leo purchased an island off the coast of Belize, Blackadore Caye–which has suffered from overfishing, an eroding coastline and the deforestation of its mangrove trees. Leo plans to assemble a “Restorative” resort that promotes sustainability, eco-friendliness, conservation, and eco-tourism that negates negative impacts on the landscape and natural resources.

A Social Thinker.

“To believe in love, to be ready to give up anything for it, to be willing to risk your life for it, is the ultimate tragedy.”

 

I realize all of these characteristics do not perfectly align with the notion of a true Renaissance Man. Sure, he may have never graduated from High School and only completed his GED. Also, he might not be an expertise in every field. However, he excels at cinema, art, creative expression, and imaginative escape. Furthermore, he is an allegorical representation of the term “Renaissance Man”; however, with a slight twist. Holding true to the ideas of the man his name originated from, he has constructed a life that is not solely rooted in his career. But a life that serves others–a life that has a purpose and existence outside of his own identity. His knowledge is not limited to one subject, but he actively desires to learn more about the sciences and the world. Leo is not merely one thing. He is the accumulation of all that is mentioned above and so much more. This is why he is MY Renaissance Man and so utterly successful in everything he sets his mind to.

I end with this idea that Leonardo DaVinci once shared, “It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.” As DiCaprio did.